A and T

Dear A and T,

Can I tell you a secret, my darlings? I have no idea what I’m doing. Sometimes you both seem so normal, so pure, that I forget how much you hurt inside. But then your heartbreak crashes in and leaves me in amazement at my own helplessness. I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel, how you felt as you walked through the dark places you have been. I can’t help. A, when you lay sobbing next to me because of your pain, I never know what to do. T, when you looked at me with your wide eyes and said, with total innocence, that everyone breaks their promises, my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

I wish that I could do something, anything to help you. I would jump in front of a bus for you, open my veins for you. I would take every ounce of your pain for my own if I could, but I can’t. I can’t do anything but hold your hands as you fight your own demons. Most days I am not even sure if I’m doing that right. You two are both so amazing, so strong. I wish I could do more.

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