Dear T

Dear T,

Oh my darling, my heart is breaking for you tonight. All the screaming and violence and chaos you effected yesterday seems to have caught up with you. Tonight, you aren’t safe at home with us, you are in a mental hospital while they try to stabilize you. I wish I could take all your pain and anger for you, but I can’t.

What can I do, T, when you threaten to hurt A? How can I keep both of you safe and help both of you to heal? Our one biggest rule is that everyone in our household has to be safe – for themselves and others. If you break that rule and say that you’ll keep breaking it until you get moved, then how can we keep you? How can R and I justify having you in the house?

I want nothing more at this moment than for you to want to be here with us. At the end of the day, if you keep fighting us by hurting our girls, you’ll have to move on. But if you will try, just a little bit, to let us all become a family together, then R and I won’t hesitate for a second to make you our own. We want so badly to fight for you, T. I want to be able to call you unequivocally ours. Please, please, please try to let us make you ours.

Until the hospital releases you, know that I love you and miss you. If you’ll let me, I’ll be waiting here with open arms when you get out. I love you so much, my beautiful boy.

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