I know that you don’t want to hear this, but here it is: that hospital stay was good for you. I know you hated it, but you needed it. I’m not glad you are hurting now, but I’m glad you went.
Guess what else? I am so proud that you are crying right now. When you sat at that table crying and told me that R and I screwed up and should never have sent you to the hospital, it was more real than I have ever seen you. I have seen you screaming in anger at other prople, but this was the first time I have ever seen you be honest with yourself about your own hurt.
The fact that you can actually say that you are sad and that you miss your old foster family just shows how much progress you’ve made. It hurts my heart to see you sad, but it also fills me with joy. It means that the walls you have erected around yourself to keep yourself safe are slowly coming down. Let them come down, my darling. I know you are scared, but I’ll be right here with you.