To the other parents…

Dear Foster or Adoptive Parent,

I know that you are in the trenches right now. I am right there with you. I know how tired you are. No, that is an understatement. I know how completely exhausted and depleted you are. I know how it feels to not even be able to think straight because you are so tired. I know how it feels to crave a full, completely uninterrupted nights sleep, and how even if you get it, it never feels like enough.

I know that sometimes you go into the bathroom to cry so that your precious child will not see you do it. It could harm what you are trying to build with them if they knew how you feel right now, so you smile until your cheeks hurt and then you cry in secret.

You feel inadequate against this child’s needs. When measured against the complete magnitude of their heartbreak, you know that what you offer them every day is paltry. I know how frustrating and heartbreaking it is to see your child rage against everything that has been taken from them, and to not be able to restore any of it.

You simultaneously love this child with every fiber of your being, and wish that you had never brought them home. I know that you feel guilty for even thinking it, but how it is true all the same.

Moms and Dads, I am where you are right now. I won’t tell you that everything will work out because, honestly, it might not. Life can be pretty messy  sometimes, and there are no guarantees. What I can tell you is that you are not alone in this. If you feel like an awful parent, like a fraud, like someone fighting and losing, then I am all of that with you. Sometimes everything sucks, and that is okay.

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