Dear T

Dear T,

I’m sorry you can’t come home now. I don’t have a way to keep you safe when you are intent on harming yourself. You have no impulse control, and while that isn’t your fault, I do not have the resources to keep you safe from yourself 24/7.

It sucks that you are stuck in the hospital because your worker is useless. You’ve been doing well, and you didn’t do anything at all to need the hospital this time. They just have no where else to put you. No room at the inn, I’m afraid.

I’ll tell you, kid, it broke my heart to tell the on-call worker that we can’t take you back right now. I wish that your worker would do her job and find you a placement that fits, but instead, she’s on vacation. You didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this, you are being unfairly punished for her incompetency.

I’m sorry, my dear. I wish I had more to give you. I wish we could take you back. If not forever, at least for a while…but we can’t. I love you, my T. I love you when you are here and driving me nutty, and I love you when you are stuck in the psych hospital. I may not be your mom, but I love you and I’m here for you.