Overload

Last week, ML was in the hospital for trying to hurt me. Today and yesterday, B is in the hospital for almost succeeding in taking her own life.

My caring, funny B almost killed herself. She came so very close, and it’s only by God’s grace that she is still here.

My dear friend, who also fosters, says I can’t blame myself for how my kids are. She says that I just take impossible kids. I know deep down that she is right. R and I aren’t just fighting an uphill battle, we’re fighting a war while trying to climb a mountain. Some days I feel like we are losing that war though, and it’s a war we can’t afford to lose. So much is at stake – my kids’ entire lives hang in the balance!

I know I can’t blame myself for how my kids are, but I feel so lost when it feels like I have to do more to help them and there isn’t any more to do.

I guess I just have to keep fighting the war.

 

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