Dear H

Dear H,

Oh sweet girl, I know you are scared. So many people have failed you, and you have to feel R and I out before you can trust us and accept us as your parents.

However, you are driving me up a wall.

The defiance, the sass, and the anger are all right there with you. I can see you throwing everything you have at us, no holding back. When you look at me and tell me “No” as loudly as you can, and then shut down completely, it’s frustrating. I have to hold myself back from reacting the way you expect me to.

I know that you expect me to yell, threaten, maybe even hit you, but I am not going to do any of those things. R and I want you to be able to trust us, and we know that those reactions break trust, not build it. But oh boy, whenever you start I can feel my own anger rising and it is so hard sometimes to let it go.

I hope we pass your test soon, sweet one. We love you so much, and we would really like to be able to enjoy being with you rather than fight you.

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