Sometimes, foster/adoptive parenting more than one kid at a time feels a bit like a tightrope. I don’t really have any special tools, but I have to keep my balance, because NOT keeping my balance would have a very bad effect.
H is NOT happy that we brought A2 in. She is feeling threatened, and is acting like a feral cat trying to chase someone off her territory. In the past few days she has screamed, cursed, disrespected us, and threatened violence more than in the past two months!
We know it comes from a place of fear, and we are just trying to meet her where she is. However, it’s a balancing act. R and I have to weigh H’s needs very carefully, and balance them against A2’s needs. They both need one on one time, how do we give it to them without H exploding? How do we strongly validate A2’s feelings and get her to trust us without invalidating H’s feelings of resentment and fear? I mean, H is unhappy, but poor A2 just got released from a psych hospital and lost everything she’s ever known.
And most of all…. how do we get them both to all their damn appointments when H refuses to even get in the same car as A2?